Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What's in the mage's mailbox?

Random Mail Generator
D12
Letter
1
A letter from mum: Dear son, It’s been a long time since I’ve heard from you. You haven’t written me in a long time and you never come to visit. Is it that much trouble to come to tea  now-and-then? I've talked with Margaret about it and she think’s it’s shameful how little attention you pay me. Love, your mother.
2
An advertising brochure: Buy a can of brown tea at Mademoiselle Vita’s and get a bag of green tea worth 5 copper pieces for free!
3
A bill of 25 gp of the local laundry service. (Expensive, but magicians get very dirty).
4
A letter from a young man from Pretomournon who would like to apprentice to the mage.
5
A map of the village of Tealief.
6
An invitation to the birthday party of Mr. Sonder Klomt, in two days.
7
A letter that begins: I finally found the formula to turn potatoes into gold! Start as follows… But the letter has been wet and the rest is smudged and  illegible.
8
A letter from a little boy: Dear wizard-sir, can I borrow your wand of fireballs? Dink is bullying me all the time and I want to teach him a lesson. Greetings, Timmie.
9
Spam: Visit the casino! If you visit the casino you get 30 gold pieces of me to try our games. All you have to do is fill in the reply card below and return it.
10
Fanmail: I'm your biggest fan! You are the best magic-user in the country! No, in the world! Can I have your autograph?
11
Hatemail: You’re stupid! You're the worst magic-user in the country! No, in the world! Go jump into a ditch!
12
A chess move: Knight to C3. Checkmate! Hahahahaha!

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